Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Latest Dating Game & What He Gave Me When We Met

The last one just didn't work out. We will
probably remain freinds but never a couple.
I am looking for a man to date on a long term
basis, just not marriage or moving in. Been
there, done that.

The last man will need way too much time to
recover from the grief of loosing his wife.
We talked about it and decided to put dating
on hold until November. I did tell him I was
not waiting, that I intend to date others.
And I have. Plus I MAY have found a real
keeper. Only time and learning more about him
will determine if it lasts. I know how picky I
can be about mundane annoyances. And this
time I'm not settling.

When he first contacted me on the Senior Meet
dating I turned him down saying I only date
one man at a time. Besides, there was no
picture of him. For all I knew he could be
rotund and misrepresenting himself. But his
initial contact email was so very well spoken
and interesting. He had to be at least
intelligent. So I gave it some thought and the
next morning I emailed him again and told him
I changed my mind... life is too short and
there is so much I want to see and do. I told
him he must send a picture or I would not meet
him. Within hours a picture arrived. Ok, older
and rather average looking, but not bad.

We met at the Center City Cafe. As I got out
of my car I noticed a gentleman also getting
out of a silver Mercedes. Wow. Is this him?
Nice car. Guess he isn't poor. And yes, it
was him.

We introduced ourselves and he asked the
hostess to seat us at the table in the corner
at the far end. Then he quickly excused
himself for a few minutes. After he sat down
the waitress arrived with a beautiful crystal
vase with a dozen off white rose buds. Pictured
above. Wow again. This man not only has a
golden pen when writing he is quite the smooth
gentleman. And unless he lives in his car with
high monthly payments, he sure isn't living
off of Social Security.

During the course of conversation I asked
where he lived in San Diego. I asked because
Bob lived in a small section of the city way
down near Imperial Beach by the Mexico border.
A real PITA distance on our freeways. I nearly
fell off my seat when he said he lived in the
6th Ave condo's across from Balboa Park. You
can't get more upscale than that unless you
have a beach home in Delmar or La Jolla.

We had our lunch, talked for about an hour
and the meeting was over. We had a brief hug
and kiss before I left. I thought, oh well, I
guess I'm not upscale enough to suit his
tastes. No big loss. It was fun to meet him.

A few hours later I received another one of
his "golden pen" emails. He said he wished we
had extended our meeting as well as pouring on
the compliments about me. Then the email
continued with six pages about himself.
Another WOW! I am way out classed by this
man. In the end he said he would call for us
to meet again. To please send him my phone

He asked to see me Tuesday but I said I have
a meeting on Tuesday mornings. So he opted for
Wednesday morning to go antique shopping at
the many shops in my town. Late Tuesday night
it rained and SD County had one of it's rare
lightening storms. Rain was also forecast all
day Wednesday.

Early Wednesday morning he called and said the
electric was out all night at the condo and
the generator to run the elevators and
emergency lights was not working. As president
of their HOA he could not get away. Okay, I
believed the excuse, but figured he could have
had a change of heart. He called again Friday
saying he was still tied up with repairs with
the generator as well as going to Malibu
Monday to visit his grown children. Okay,
sounded feasable.

Tuesday he called and set up things for
Wednesday. That he was coming to pick me up
rather than meeting and using two cars. That
he needed my address. I wasn't too sure but
provided the information since we are a secure
complex and he cannot gain access without my

In the morning I impatiently waited for yet
another call that he needed to cancel. Thank
goodness I was ready early, he showed up at
11am instead of the agreed noon. Our second
date went very smoothly, lunch, shopping in
antique stores where he kept insisting there
must be "something" he could buy for me, then
Chineese for dinner. Our goodnight was
slightly more than a quick hug and kiss. Oh my.

And then that night another flowery email about
how wonderful he thinks I am. We have since
had another date, to watch the San Diego
Chargers get whopped. Plus he cooked dinner.
He brought all the makings, dessert and wine.
Good grief! A man who loves to cook. My kind
of guy.

So why am I not all that excited about him? At
present we are only dating once about every 5
days. I have also found a way to see if he has
been scanning for ladies on the Senior Dating
site without him knowing I am. He's on there
every day. And let's face it... he's a prime
catch. Any lady is going to go for this man.
And I'm sure there's plenty of Southern Cal
women who are botoxed, lifted, as well as far
classier than I am who are fishing for men
too.... and I have the distinct feeling he is
taking advantage of the situation.

But know what? I'm in this party for as long
as it lasts. Why not? Like I told him, life
is too short and there's too many things to
see and do before it's over.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


Me when I was a sultry age 14.
The beach in N. Wildwood was small
and high tides often washed into the street.
Today this same beach is at least a half
mile wide and the city has tram cars to
take beach goers closer to the ocean.
Such is the power of nature to either
give or to take away.

Now, what I miss about NuJoisey.....

Thunder storms. Watching a sudden storm approach across the ocean
or Delaware Bay. The excitement and fear of racing across the bay
to reach safe harbor before the storm. Ball lightening. St. Elmo's Fire. The tingle of a close lightening hit and the exciting relief that it missed me. Walking in a downpour on a warm day and splashing in the puddles like a child. The smell of rain after a dry week. The quiet after a storm, especially in the Great Cedar Swamp or on a deserted beach.
Sitting on the porch with a panoramic view of the sky watching nature's fire works.

Winter ice storms where even the smallest weed became a diamond
creation. When my weeping birches would gracefully bend to the earth under the weight of the ice but spring back on the first sunny day. Running and sliding like a child down the pavement. Icicles.

Snow. How it quieted the harsh noise of civilization. Walking at night during a gentle snow fall. Walking in the woods after a fresh snow looking for animal tracks. Snow covered trees and shrubery. The refreshing feeling of accomplishment after shoveling the walkway.

Fall colors. Watching the decidious world return to life in the spring.
Crocus popping up through the snow. The first daffodill. The first
Jersey tomato. Picking wild blueberries. Sasafras tea. Pick it yourself strawberries, string beans, apples and peaches. Tree ripened peaches.

Perching on a sand dune watching a nor'easter storm ravage the beach. Spending endless hours walking through sand dunes shielded
from the winter wind. Conk shells. Sand crabs scurring in the shallow
waves. Catching flounder and weak fish and eating them the same day. Blue claw crabs. Walking along the Deleware Bay during horse shoe crab spawning and flipping over the ones on their back so they could return to the bay. Bird migrations in the fall across the bay.

Jake. When all of my friends were on the beach I would wander off and walk for hours through the dunes and along the sand bars in Angle Sea. Jake was an old man who I often met during my solitary expiditions. He taught me of nor'easters, hurricanes, how the sea and the sand worked in harmony to ceasely resculpure the landscape. Once we met on a sand dune during a mild hurricane and sat for hours watching the fury of the wind and the sea. When I was 17 I could no longer find Jake. I never knew his last name or where he lived but this lovely old man taught me to love and respect the sea. Each spring I would return to Angle Sea to see the grand castles that the sea tore down and rebuilt during the winter.

Then came the bulldozers, condo's on the beach, and the sand bars and dunes ceased to exist. Sea walls were built to protect mankind's bastardation of the beach. But slowly through the years the sand and the sea built back what man destroyed. And once again the sand in
N. Wildwood and Angle Sea is again in control. I have not returned for the past 10 years. I must go back again.

Knowing the trails through the woods and the swamps so well that I could walk them on a moon lit night without a flash light. The albino opussum that lived in my window well. The albino skunk who visited my campsite nightly. The pine snake who returned to live under my stoop every spring. Giant spider orbs glistening with morning dew. Being one of the few humans who witnessed a pair of bald eagles send one of the offspring off for the first time to fend for itself. A three hour symphony of calling back and forth, then total silence as the young eagle sat alone in the top of a tree. Then see that young eagle return to the same tree the following spring, still without it's white feathered head. And finally finding where it established it's new territory and lived for several years.

Other things I miss. Dietz and Watson hot dogs. Artery clogging Philly steaks and subs. Barrell pickles. Jersey tomatoes and peaches. Real Italian bistro's. Broadway in NYC and Broad Street in Philly. The hysterical but harmless rudeness of Philadelphia sports fans. Ethnic neighborhoods side by side in harmony. Collecting eggs from the chicken coop for breakfast. Putting on the pot of water before picking sweet peas and Jersey corn. The smell of fresh cut grass.

The list could go on and on. But still, I am now here on the other pond and now my list of what I love about the west coast continues to grow.
And I do not miss shivering in the damp cold winters of NJ, chipping ice off the windshield, water in the basement, crab grass, and most of all,
I do not miss NJ mosquitoes, deer ticks, green head flies, strawberry flies and gnats. I often called my summer abode on the edge of the Great Cedar Swamp "Paradise with Flesh Eating Insects".